Lately I have felt God really speaking to my heart love. Now let me start by saying that I can be a little mushy so my sweet reader you just need to prepare yourself and really focus on my point. On April 1st, my groom and I will be celebrating our very first date 9 years ago (and by celebrating I mean we will spend the day pranking each other because after all it’s April Fools day).
A first date that not only caused me to cry in an ugly way from a burning eye but that also would be the start of a major change in my life little did I know.
Let me just address this because I am sure at this point you are thinking, “how can she put that out there and not tell the story”. Jay was so kind. He wanted our first date to be amazing. He washed and cleaned his truck inside out, he picked out the perfect clothes and wore the best cologne I think I have ever smelled on a man. He took me to a great resturant. So far we were off to a great start, then our date took a turn for the burns! I will never forget this because he was so nervous. He ordered this steak dish that came with this marsala type sauce and somehow he flung that sauce right into my left eye. I never in my life cried on a first date but I cried really ugly that night. I could tell he was so embarrassed and trying to figure out how he could help me because of course people were looking at us. The answer….check please! Apparently though your natural tears are amazing for cleaning out the eye and thank God I can still see. Poor fella had already had sort of a strange night and this just added to it. What I failed to mention above is that since our first date was on April Fools day, I had to mess with him. He lived about 40 minutes away. I called him once he was about half way there to let him know that I was going to have to cancel. April Fools. We survived the first date by the skin of our teeth.
Ok so that is how our love story began. The dates we had after that went much better and Jay had something so special about him that even though I could barely see him to tell him, I made sure he knew that I would like to go out again. So fast forward to 9 years later. Here we are. We will be married 6 years in June and we have a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter. All of this is important so don’t skim because you know I will bring it all together. Jay had a lot to work with when we started dating. Over the past 9 years our life has been constantly changing and growing. With changes and growth come times that are flat out difficult even for the most in love couple. A perfect example is right after our daughter was born. Here we were two brand new parents that didn’t have a clue what they were doing, we got no sleep at night much less any alone time together. Every conversation we had of course was about our little dumplin and just learning how to parent. Then we fast forward to a point where we were sleeping and kind of had gotten the hang of this parenting thing and life began to settle in quite nicely. I had this moment one night with God that just really stuck with me. I was praying over my little family and I heard God encourage me to make sure that I was giving Jay affirmations, showing him my deep love for him and building him up to make sure that he knew he wasn’t taking the back seat.
Now anyone who knows Jay will tell you, he is laid back and there isn’t very much that gets him rattled. So I was so perplexed with God’s command because I thought to myself “Jay is fine”. But I listened. That very night I made sure to say to him “Honey you know I love you with all my heart and soul, I am so thankful for you and I think you are amazing”. Now after he wiped the look of “have you bumped your head on something I already know all of those things” off of his face, I explained that I never wanted him to feel like because we had a child my love for him or attention for him would change. He of course smiled and understood because that is just what Jay does. So the past two years I have made a point to always try to affirm him. From leaving sticky notes on the bathroom mirror to sending him emails at work when I know he isn’t there just so that he will have something to look forward to reading once he returns. These are tiny things but he loves them.
Most recently though God spoke to me in a different way. He said “I want you to Love him to Jesus”. I of course said excuse me, don’t you mean love him to pieces. And he quickly said “no love him to Jesus”. It hit me hard all of the sudden. First he commanded me to make sure that Jay knows always how much I love him but now what he is commanding is different. He wants me to pray over him harder, to read scripture with him more and to make sure he knows that I love him in a way that I want him to love Jesus more than me. WHOA! Love someone else more than me? It was very clear though.
You see, when you truly love and adore someone, when you truly feel that they are your soul mate and the person that God made just for you, you have to be willing to be second in their life. You have to let them love Jesus and really walk in his light before yours. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful that your spouse compliments you to others and talks about you but at the end of the day, the act of witnessing to others has nothing to do with how wonderful a man thinks his wife is. It has to do with them seeing you love Jesus so much that you just have to talk about him. Jay just said to me today when we were looking at a devotion together that he thinks witnessing is the hardest yet most important thing we can do for the kingdom of God.
You have to not only make sure that your spouse knows how deeply you care for them, but you have to let Jesus know how much you care for him by lifting your spouse up to love him more. Sounds easy folks but I am here to tell you it’s not. If it were super easy, everyone would do it. Putting God though before your spouse and before your children is hard but it’s what God commands of us. I have a perfect example, God commanded Abraham to sacrafice his son Isaac. Abraham trusted and loved the Lord so much that he took Isaac to the rock, laid him down and was going to put him to death to honor God’s request. Just before he was to do his, God provided a lamb for the sacrafise and allowed Isaac to live. See Abraham had no idea what God’s plan was, but he loved him and trusted him so much that he was willing to sacrafice his own blood to satisfy God.
God doesn’t request such extreme things of human kind today, his commands are far more easy and so we should allow our husband to be obideient and love God loudly and strongly above us. We must love our spouses to Jesus!
Abraham showed his love and faith for God many times over. I expect nothing less from my husband. I really believe that is what makes a husband great, when he loves his spouse through Jesus. He allows Jesus to lead him through his marriage and being a father. As our relationship with each other has grown, so has our relationship with Christ. We know that without God as the center of our marriage, we have nothing. Instead of fighting or yelling, we pray and say I am sorry. We trust God to handle stress for us. These things are so important especially in today’s world where the divorce rate is higher than ever before and people no longer see the marriage license as a piece of golden paper. People ask me on a regular basis how Jay and I keep our love alive and our life together prosperous and I never hesitate to say God. He created us for each other and he constantly gives us what we need to love each other more and more than we did in the beginning.
We have to work hard for our families, to shield them from all of the worldly things that the devil would love nothing more than to bribe us all with. Tell your spouse daily that you love them, pray for them and are always on their team, I guarantee your marriage will be happier than ever and it will grow stronger with every passing year. Love him to Jesus!!!
Scripture for thought:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your sould and with all your mind and with all your strength.